diet for people under stress

posted by: Administrator | February 1, 2005

bill2This was forwarded by our friend Peter Squire…

To help you with your New Years Resolutions, here is a specially formulated diet designed to help cope with the stress that builds during the day.

 BREAKFAST

  • 1 grapefruit
  • 1 slice whole-wheat toast
  • 1 cup skim milk

LUNCH

  • small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
  • herbal tea
  • 1 Hershey’s Kiss

AFTERNOON TEA

  • The rest of the Hershey Kisses in the bag
  • 1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate-chip topping

DINNER

  • 4 glasses of wine (red or white)
  • 2 loaves garlic bread
  • 1 family size Supreme pizza
  • 3 Snickers bars

LATE NIGHT SNACK

  • 1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)
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  • If you like this diet, then you'll love this cookie recipe...

    Jose Cuervo Cookies

    1 cup of water
    1 tsp baking soda
    1 cup of sugar
    1 tsp salt
    1 cup of brown sugar
    lemon juice
    4 large eggs
    1 cup nuts
    2 cups of dried fruit

    1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla

    Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

    Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

    Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup ...just in case.

    Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

    Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.

    Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
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